Long Distance Relationships (LDR)

Here is the secret that most people do not tell you:

1. RELATIONSHIPS ARE EASY

Relationships are not meant to be hard. The only hard thing about them is finding someone willing to put up with all of your obnoxious/annoying behaviors because you put up with there's.

If you find yourself in a relationship that is difficult and you cannot fully be yourself in it; run. Run far and fast because if this significant other of yours cannot accept you for YOU and NOT who you think they want you to be, it is not going to end well; might as well get out before any real damage is caused.

Also, you should never be afraid! You should always be excited! You're first kiss is inevitable? Plant that sucker on them. Things are getting a little serious? Make sure you have a rubber.

This is the biggest piece of advice I can give newly found love:

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING

You should never have to say sorry to anyone for being who you are. And yes, I understand that this has been said in teen magazines and by celebrities who are paid to tell you to "be yourself" but I am neither a celebrity nor a paid writer. I am someone who has witnessed and been in these situations. It is not enjoyable for anyone.

Some signs this may not be the right person for you:

• You find yourself being jealous of every other girl (guy)* they talk to
• You laugh at anything he (she) says, even if it isn't funny
• You pull back on telling a joke because you don't want to offend him (her)**
• If they aren't someone you want to introduce to your family
• If they aren't someone you want to introduce to your friends
• If they aren't someone you want to introduce to your roommate(s)
• Their friends drive you crazy
• You can't stand some of the things they do
• bite their nails
• snort when laughing
• pick their toes
• chew with their mouth open
• etc.
• You find yourself not wanting to be around them
• You find yourself wanting to be around them too often (you justify it by saying you are "just keeping an eye on them". That is not trusting them. You are not justifying anything)

This list could go on forever and I am sure you are thinking of some I did not put on there but I think you get the idea. 

The easiest and best relationships you can have are the ones you don't go looking for. Don't be with someone because you are lonely or because everyone else around you is dating someone. That is what one night stands are for.*** The easiest relationships are ones where you don't have to try. Everything is easy because being around this other person brings out the best in you and, to sound as cliche as possible, completes you.

 

        

       2.  LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD

Now you are probably all saying (or thinking, I would hope you're not talking to your computer) "hey now, I thought you just said relationships are easy?!"

Well calm down because you are right; I did say that. However, long distance relationships or LDR's are difficult in the sense that you are not around your significant other as much as you usually are.

It is sad to see 2 amazing people, perfect for each other find themselves in an LDR and don't make it out alive. They are hard. They challenge you in ways you could have never prepared for. But, at the same time, they shape you for the better. And the number one killer of LDR's is...

JEALOUSY!!

Yeah! You crumple up that jealousy heart! Then throw it in the fire and watch it burn!!

First off, CONGRATULATIONS on finding the perfect person for you! You are a lot farther than most people.What's that you say? He is leaving you for an extended period of time and you won't be able to see him as often? Well, wipe those tears away and listen to some advice from your LDR expert in the field!

Yes. That is right. I am currently in an LDR. We are only 250 miles away from each other which, compared to most other LDR's, is a cake walk. It is difficult to be away from someone you love so much and who loves you right back. But why is it difficult? In all fairness, it really shouldn't be. The only thing you aren't getting out of it is sex which, let's face it, that is was skype is actually for.

If you trust him, love him unconditionally, understand that he will be busy (as well as yourself) and set aside some time everyday to talk to him; chances are high that you two will be fine.

If you are jealous of everyone he is talking to on FB*, call him after every hour to "check up on him", text him what you are eating for lunch, ignore calls from him because you are "too busy"; chances are you are not going to last very long.

If you are trusting and trustworthy and understand that there are going to be times when one of you is busier than the other, you will win your LDR. 

Here is a list of some LDR ideas and things to remember:

• Skype
• Writing physical letters
• Weekly care packages (My 39 Week LDR)
• Set aside some time everyday just to call each other, even if it is before you go to sleep, just to say "I love you"
• Share good news with each other
• Be supportive of whatever they do
• Send them care packages
• Find some time to physically go visit them. This may be difficult but it will always be worth it.
• Pick up a hobby**

Always remember that you have found someone who loves you for you. And you love them for them. It is as simple as that. Stop trying to complicate it.



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* Do men even read this blog? 
** I'm sorry but this is going to be obnoxious after a while. If you are, in fact, a male reading this, just fix the gender to meet your fancy. This also goes for anyone who doesn't find the gender pairing meeting their individual needs. 
*** I, personally, am not a fan of one night stands, but I do not judge. 
* See post number 1 "Social Media"
** Hobbies are a great way to take your mind off of the distance. It is also a great way to calm your mind (for those of you that over think things).